Booked, Not Busy: Why Strategic Rest Fuels Better Leaders feat. Dr. Erin Wilson

In this episode of Taking Back Monday, Alyssa sits down with Dr. Erin Wilson, co-author of Strategic Rest in Leadership. Together they dive into why rest isn’t a luxury...it’s a leadership strategy. From Erin’s own story of burnout to her framework for “strategic rest,” this conversation challenges the way you think about hustle culture, success, and what it means to truly show up as your best self.

If you’ve ever felt the pressure to do more, be more, and stay “busy” just to keep up, this episode will help you reframe. It’s not about working harder, it’s about working smarter and resting better.

Why Listen
This episode gives you permission to pause, rethink what “busy” really means, and see how rest can fuel your ambition instead of slowing it down. Alyssa and Erin share real stories, practical tips, and a refreshing take on leadership in today’s world.

3 Key Takeaways

• Booked, not busy: Why great leaders don’t glorify hustle—they value outcomes and balance.
• Rest is strategy: Pauses and rest days aren’t wasted time, they are fuel for long-term success.
• Small steps matter: Start with micro-pauses and one protected boundary to build a healthier rhythm.

It's time to say "goodbye" to the Sunday Scaries.

Connect with Alyssa
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alyssanolte/
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Transcript

0:01

Hey everyone. Welcome back to taking back Monday. I am so excited that you decided to say goodbye to the Sunday scaries and hello to a brand new future of work. My name is Alyssa Nolte And I am Dr. Erin Wilson. and we are going to have a fantastic conversation today. So Dr. Aaron, what is your origin story? My, my goodness, my origin story, I think has a couple of, uh, off-ramps and on-ramps, right? One of the very first important pieces to my origin story really started, uh, a few years ago, right? So I was at a conference. For high achieving women who were moving of course into executive status. We were already interviewing with specific schools. Mine specifically was of course, higher education. I worked at universities for quite a bit of my my career. And I was sitting at a conference, not even a conference, it was a, a symposium in order to prepare us for this next. Step because we had been recommended. We were people, all of us were people who were sitting in this space of folks who were the next folks who were about to move into these VP executive VP level roles, right? I had to get people to write letters of recommendation. They did checks to see if we were really these people. And as I was sitting at that conference, they asked us to write a letter to ourselves in the future. And I was sitting there thinking about what did I want to write to this version of Erin, right? What did I wanna write that maybe would help me in the future? And it was at that quiet moment that I realized. This was not what I wanted to do. That just because I was good at it doesn't mean that it was the work that I was being called to do. And I started to think about the joy that I experienced when I facilitated content for people, when I helped them unlock what their strengths were when I helped them understand relationship intelligence. And so I started to ask myself the question, is this what leadership is supposed to look like? And as I put my pin down for just a second, I picked it back up quickly and I wrote, you better not still work here when you get this letter. Oh my gosh. That's what I wrote. That's what, on there I mean, we can, I'll say, girl. not still be working. Here is what I'll say that I wrote to myself and when I got that letter, I was not. I really left in a space where I was supposed to be cultivating all this energy towards something that people had really told me I was supposed to be right. That I had put effort into, which was what was holding me so much is that I had, I had moved everything that I was looking for in my life had always been kind of, really around titles, trying to be the best version of whatever it was, but it wasn't what I was called to do. And so for me that was one of the big pieces. The second piece where rest and strategic rest, which, we'll, I'm sure we'll talk a little bit about that in our time together. But Strategic Resting Leadership is a book that I wrote with a colleague and it all started from, and I would say that's a part of my origin story. My, as I was working, of course, in like lots of people would say, hu hustle culture, right? And understanding and chasing those titles. I had my very first stress induced seizure and it was then that some things became incredibly clear to me, right? If the impact that I wanna make is to be here and to be able to be with people, then how am I serving myself, right? And how am I serving those people if I'm not gonna be here, if I'm not well enough to do it, if I'm not the best version of myself when I'm doing it. And so that really sent me on a, a eye opening journey to figure out how I can then start to. Be not just resilient that I was being praised for, for always being there, right? But really halting folks, praising me, uh, as I walked around, kind of with a badge of honor, as I celebrated burnout in everything that I was doing. But it really shifted me to create that movement around strategic rest because I didn't wanna just be another professional story with nothing left in the tank. So I flipped the script and started to really understand that rest was a strategy and started to see how I could use it as that and not just a luxury. I, I saw an article recently it was about, uh, bill Gates, and he was talking about how he had a seven hour turnaround, seven hours from the time he left the office to walking back in the door. Everyone, it, it was a divided conversation, right? Because the, the premise of the article was from his wife's perspective and what it was like to be married to someone who boasted about a seven hour turnaround. But if, then, if you look on the other side of the conversation, people are like, well, obviously it was worth it. Look at the life that you have. Look at the things that you have and, and look at the, the, the life you've had the ability to have because your husband works that hard. And as a fellow ambitious woman who wants to like do all the things and be incredible and be amazing and like. Be the person that people look at and say, wow, she's made it right. There is so much pressure to, to follow that hustle culture. And I see it all over TikTok of like the guy who's like, I get up at 4 0 2 and I do three hours of work before the sun comes up and then I go work out for an 60, 60 to minutes and I then run half a marathon and then I go back to work and then I'm at, you know, this until nine o'clock at night and like. I'm looking at that and saying, okay, if I'm not doing these things, am I failing at what I'm trying to do, which is be incredible, be ambitious, achieve my, my goals and my dreams, and I had to come to terms really with that of like, just because that's what they're putting on social media, one doesn't mean it's real, right? We don't even know if it's real, but two, that might not be the way that I achieve that outcome, even if that's really the life that they're living. That might not be the way that I, as a human being, that person that is unique to me is able to achieve those goals and to become that ambitious, you know, person that I want to be. Absolutely and so many, and that's why strategic Race is such a big part of conversations that I have with leaders because number one, oftentimes we don't spend, we're not intentional about understanding how rest should be a part of the schedule and also a part of our strategy in order to be able to show up as our best versions of ourselves, but oftentimes people think about rest as only being, okay, I got this amount of time to sleep, right? But there's so many other ways in order for us to feel that rest. And ultimately, it depends on what kind of leader you wanna be. Do you wanna be a leader that people actually want to be around? Do you want a leader that maximizes your impact and not just. Kind of in a financial way, but also in creating a place and space to use your time and talent to make the world a better place. Those are the questions that we have to ask ourselves about what kind of leader we want to be. Yes. Is it nice to have all of the amazing things in the world that comes with having gobs and gobs of cash? Yes. Hell I. May that problem find me. Yes. May this problem find me. Exactly. I would love to find out all of the issues that come with being ultra super wealthy. Okay. So hopefully at some point I'll be able to navigate and report back and let folks know, however. There are many people who, as leaders, that's not what they're most interested in. It's the moments in which people are celebrated with you about how you made people feel once you left. We, we think about that quite often as a part of leadership and how you're contributing. Again to making the world around you a better place. And a huge part of that is being able to show up as your best self for the people that you're supporting, not just in the workplace, but also in your life around you. Modeling how rest can be a huge part of, of not just who you are, but allowing you to show up because you really can't, I hear this all the time, but it's very true. You cannot pour from an empty cup, right? So it was important to me to give a framework to leaders so that it shows folks how to feel their cup without feeling the guilt that's attached, usually to being able to, to take a moment for yourself. I have a, uh, someone I've worked with for a really long time. He and I started a startup together. We've been working together for. it's almost 12 years now that he and I have been working together and he is a, he's older than me. He's in his, I think fifties and he's a former professional cyclist, right? So he used to like compete on road races, ride hundreds of miles, and he still does it kind of what I'll call semi-pro. And so he'll go out for a training ride. Almost every single day. And then there was one day where I made a joke. I'm like, oh, I'm surprised you're not out on the bike. He goes, you know, at at the point that I am in my life, like I have to build in rest days. And he's like, I wanna be out there. But I have to remember, and I wrote it down as you were talking, rest days are training days. And it was one of those moments where, like that we were talking about something unrelated, but his, he had the exact same thing with his approach to what he wanted to do. In order for him to continue semi-pro cycling for the long term, he needed to remember that rest days are training days and there's no guilt or shame or frustration in taking a rest day. Absolutely. Here's the thing, life and work, they, they can be powerful without being punishing. And I feel like we forget that the life and work can be powerful without being punishing. We deserve better and we can lead better when we rest better. And, and again, rest is not the same way for everybody. Uh, we, I talk about that in my book that I wrote with Dr. Kelly Dixon. Shout out to her. But I. We talk about how rest is a, is a bunch of different things. You can feel rested by learning something new. I took a DJ in class the other day and didn't expect that to be the thing. First of all, shout out to all the DJs out there. Maybe they're It is super hard work. It's hard to dj. I did not know that at all, so shout out to them. But in that class I got so much energy because I was learning something new, right? Even sometimes when I go down a little bit of a rabbit hole, when I hear just one random fact and go and and Google a bunch. Stuff. I still feel incredibly energized once I know something new. We also gr gain energy and rest from being in community with amazing people who, who help us feel rested or allow us to, to be at our best to share things that hold us accountable. So there's so many different ways to be able to experience risk, and oftentimes people don't do it because we've been pigeonholed into only one way to do it, which is. On a pillow, and that's just not the case. Or, you know, the one week that you allow yourself to go on vacation, but even then you're still checking your email and you're still logged into Slack and you're still right. The, the, the fossil culture is truly pervasive. And unfortunately this may be an American thing, but unfortunately it feels like. The people who are hustling get rewarded. Societally, right? That people are impressed. Like I have way too many things going on, and I do get a little bit of a dopamine rush when someone compliments me on how I'm so, I must be so good at handling everything because I have so much going on. What they don't see is that there's like. A pile of stuff behind me over here because I simply haven't had time to pick up my office and that I'm about 35 thousand emails deep of things I haven't responded to and that, you know, I'm like working every weekend and nights and weekends. So when I'm slow to respond, right on some things, it's because, well, there's 35 other people in front of you who wanted the same exact thing. So, you know, you kinda gotta wait your turn. And yet I get a lot of compliments from people who are so impressed with everything that I've got going on. Absolutely. That's one of the big things that we need to change. It's so funny that you mention that because literally, so I do I do a 30 minute leadership like energy live show on YouTube every Sunday,

10: 13:12

00 AM central standard time. And it's called Power Nap Live, right? And last week we literally were talking about that. That's exactly what I was saying is that leaders have to stop glorifying people who just look busy because busy does not necessarily equal efficient. It doesn't necessarily equal that you've done all of these fantastic things. We've. All worked with the person who's always like, I'm so busy, I can't do anything. Oh my goodness, my calendar. I have so many meetings, but yet you got all your stuff done and this person is over there complaining about being so busy and instead of looking at the person who used their time wisely in celebrating, that is something that should really be the thing we're celebrating in the work. Place we instead glorify people who are just not necessarily even getting all their things done because they're so busy. So that to me is a shift. And one of the things that I'm calling leaders out on too is we build a new culture of what it looks like to be a well rested leader, but also want. As you're modeling it, it stops shouting out people who are the loudest about being busy, and start asking them, did you use your time wisely? And I think we also. Not only shout them out, but we give them resources, right? Like there's people that I know that are the quote unquote, like always busy, their calendar's always back to back, blah, blah, blah. And so they get some new software to help them take notes in their meetings and you know, oh, that Alyssa's done with her work so she can help you with this thing. And like, being efficient and being good at your work can sometimes actually not even, not get you shouted up, but get you punished with more work. Absolutely. And so who, who will make the change to that? It's the leaders that we're talking to in podcasts, in videos, in books, and all of these different spaces going like, we have to shift from that because then we lose amazing people who are fantastic at what they do by penalizing them for people who are not using their time wisely. An A is an a I used to. Think about how, of course, when I was or when I talk to clients, I talk about how when I was in grade school I would get the same assignment as somebody else, but I would finish incredibly quickly. Right now, you would still have another student who may have worked longer on it, but did my A count any less than Right. the a that the person did who was working way longer. Now, don't get me wrong, there are times where people need more time, more space, more resources, but we've got to stop. Really glorifying people that are only saying that they're busy, when there should be enough time and space for them to get things done. And that's only gonna stop when we have leaders go. I'm not valuing that anymore. I'm valuing people who are actually getting the work done and figuring out ways to make sure that they're showing up as their best self because rest is important in our culture. It's gotta start there. And so I'm hoping the new leaders who are coming into spaces that are hearing all of these things, that are listening to our voices saying, Hey, this was not the right way, so now let's change it, are really taking up arms and moving forward with this charge because it's gonna change the world. It has already started to change the world. So let's get really practical for a second then. If someone is listening to this podcast, they're a leader, they are looking around and saying, are we glorifying busy? And they want to do the one step that they need to do to start down this journey, what is that one step you would have them do to stop glorifying busy and start glorifying great work that is balanced with rest and success? Absolutely. So I always tell people one practical first step, right? If you're sticking your baby toe into the world of integrating strategic risk, the first thing would really be to build a daily pause. Okay. Oftentimes people will come and say, schedule a whole hour, do all of these different things, and I really think that that's next level. Okay. You've gotta start slow, because if you don't start to get that payout for at least the pause and going for yourself, I, I coach clients and one of my clients that I work with who has made just. Such an amazing shift in the way that they see strategic rest as a part of their leadership strategy. Now. Started out not even feeling like they could go to the bathroom, being so stuck to their desk that going to the restroom felt like, when can I do it? So the first piece we really did was go just step away. Just for a second, I want you to make a loop just around whatever your office is. Walk away from your desk. And when they got back, I had them report and they said, I said, did everything fall apart? And of course, the person said, no, it didn't fall apart. So I said, well, can we add a couple more seconds each time we're doing that? And now this person has now gone on vacations. Things didn't change around them. Everything was fine. And that's another conversation too, if you're a leader that. Does it feel like you can leave and things will be okay? Then You're not hiring the right people. You're not hiring experts at what they do and allowing them to cook. Okay? Get out of the kitchen. All right, head chef and let these folks make some magic. But that's a whole nother conversation. So the first piece, like I said, is build a daily pause. Protect one boundary.'cause oftentimes we come at people saying, you gotta have boundaries, right? I'm telling you to have'em all at at one time. I'm telling you, build one pause. Protect one boundary. Celebrate one decision that honors your energy. Okay. It's really those small steps that lead to actual change. Make sure that you, of course, then after you start doing that and you're getting the, the good dopamine hits from doing the things that really help you and honor you as someone who's rested and showing up as their best selves, then start scheduling that rest. And I've heard lots of people say that, right? Because if it's not on the calendar, sometimes it doesn't happen with us who have a bunch of different things going on. I like to tell people all the time, I'm booked, but I will never say I'm busy because I subscribing to something that I don't want to feel the chaos of, right? So it is all about those micro rest moments and then building those to be larger. And a couple of points. I love that you talk about it being a micro journey, right? Because I think. I don't know about you, but like every time I try to lose weight, add a workout regimen, add a a, whatever regimen, I'm gonna, you know, I'm gonna go to the gym for an hour every day and I'm only gonna eat, you know, no carbs. And I'm also going to take a class every day to, you know, work my brain and then it lasts for, you know, 7, 10, 12, however long I can sustain it. And then I fall off the wagon even harder than I was when I got on. Simply because it's not a sustainable behavior. And too many people fall into that. So one that I love the idea of booked, not busy.'cause those are two words that people kind of conflate, I think, and, and think of as the same. I do wanna comment on your walk around the house though. I, I just read an article that talks about people who shower more often are more likely to be successful in their careers. And I was like. What could possibly be like the correlation between showering and career success? I'm like, is it just that they smell good? Like what is the, what is the correlation there? And it turns out that there's actual real psychological neuroscience backed approaches to, to, not specifically showering, but doing this thing that they call transition time, where your brain is not working on the thing that you are focused on, right? Whether that's a walk around the house. Hopping in the shower, walking the dog, going for a drive. Like all of these things that are quote unquote mindless are one of the biggest predictors of when, when you can do that, one of the biggest predictors of your future success. And so like not only is it good for you, it's good for your career to step away and have those transition times and let your brain clear the waste so that you have clarity for the future. Absolutely, because performance is not sacrificed when you integrate wrist. If anything, we found that it's amplified. But the culture just has to start modeling that from the top, even if it's taking that shower and letting folks know, right? Like that's one piece I know for me, whenever I'm doing a meeting, I put on some red lipstick, right? And it allows me to know I'm gonna show up as my best self. Now the rest of me may not be completely put together. You maybe get me in a hoodie with that red lipstick. But there's something about doing those transitions and shifts, those little micro changes that allow us. To really show up as the best version of ourselves. And to me that's incredibly important. Rest, of course, is one of the ways to be able to do that. We've gotta, like we talked about several times, we've gotta start rewarding sustainable practices and not just that visible hustle that people are doing. I could not agree more. On that note, who do you think is leading the charge? Who was doing this better than anyone else? Who's opening the door? Who was taking back Monday? Hmm. I would definitely say, or for me, I would wanna shout out the quiet revolutionaries that are, that are shaken up. The way that we really show up to work. The, the woman that logs off without guilt when it's time if you could introduce me to her, I would love to because that's the person that I, I'm trying to be that person. I tell people all the time when I'm having this conversation, 'cause of course around rest, that's the one that comes up all the time. Whether it's in my comments on Power Nap Live, whether it's folks that I'm coaching, whether it, while I'm doing sessions with corporations and teams around strategic rest, the biggest question I get is, I feel guilty whenever I do that. And I then tell them, okay, I want you to ball up that guilt and I want you to shift it. I want you to shift it to the fact that you're not showing up as the best version of yourself for the people that you care about, for the people that you're supporting. So if you're gonna feel guilt, you feel guilty for that. Okay? Not for taking space and time for yourself. So that is who to me, is really taking back Mondays, the, the, the, the people who are logging off without guilt. The manager that cancels that meeting, that could have been an email. That's, that's the folks that are taking back Monday, I love it when I hear, I'm gonna give you some time back like, yes. Thank you for not just sitting here and drawing this out because you wanna hear yourself talk for the next 20 minutes. Absolutely imagine what, just that 20 minutes, not even 20, sometimes it's just gifting people back five so that they had a chance to actually digest what they talked about in the next. Meeting to grab a sip of water and to show up is a better version of themselves in the next meeting. That's the thing. Leaders like that are the ones that are shifting culture. Those are the revolutionaries who are taken aback, who are taken back Mondays, of course, people who are done glorifying, hustle culture, I'm gonna say they're taking back Mondays too, right? Those small revolutionaries, the people who are glorifying clarity. Boundaries and breathing room. Those are my folks who are taken back Mondays. And then honestly, all the folks who kind of do, overlooked work, right? Like the heroes that are in our workplace that are figuring out ways behind the scenes to build cultures where people feel like they can smile even through chaos, right? And that may be folks in learning and development and HR and wherever it is, even just the managers who. Who supervise people, but building cultures like that. And then I like to think that I'm taking back Mondays right? Every time that I remind a client that they don't have to earn rest, that they just have to stop giving it away. That they just have to be intentional about what it looks like. We have enough time in the day, but are we using it with the right amount of intention? That for me it it's the folks that decided Monday is not the enemy. Misalignment really is the enemy, not Monday. And if someone is really connecting with you, they wanna learn more, they wanna hear more about this power nap thing that happens on Sundays, where can they find you online? Absolutely, I would love for them to find me. So first of all, of course you, if you are looking for engaging re resets or retreats for your teams, even virtual trainings, I am definitely the girl to check out. My website is design ideal consulting, uh, dot com because that's my consultant firm that I own. And then you can also get your hands on our book. So again, Dr. Kelly Dixon and I wrote a book called Strategic Rest in Leadership, and that's for anyone who's tired of choosing between ambition and wellbeing. Grab that book. You can get it on Amazon. You can check it out on that website that I just talked about. Of course. Find me on YouTube. Our show is Power Nap Live. And I'd love for you to join us, of course, live every Sunday central

standard time at 10: 26:56

00 AM I'm there with folks in the comments, laughing, getting energy to start our next week. And then if you're a team leader just looking to energize your team without burning them out. Slide into my inbox. You can find me again at Design Ideal Consulting and feel free to connect with me on LinkedIn as well. I love, uh, connecting with folks there. I'm Dr. Erin Wilson. Awesome. Well, I just placed my Amazon order for a copy of this book, so I'm gonna add a link to our show notes. If you are interested in finding the way to be ambitious without absolutely tanking yourself, make sure you follow up with Dr. Aaron. Dr. Aaron, thank you so much for joining me on Taking back Monday. This was not only an insightful conversation, but I think one that is timely and relevant for the world we are living in right now. Thank you so much for having me.